I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I want a musical about memes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
