I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
