Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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