Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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