What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
