Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
