it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
