i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
