I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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