I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
