I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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