do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
