dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
