my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
