There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
3 2 1 whiskey
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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