I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
