1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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