Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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