sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
