you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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