i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So squirting runs in the family.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
