Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
