i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
