She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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