Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
