Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
