i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
