she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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