Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
