omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
