remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so much tequila, so little girl.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
