a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
