p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
