A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
