New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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