I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
