I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
