hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
