im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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