i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
