Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
