Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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