She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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