at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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