i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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