How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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