I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
