I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
