Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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