Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize