I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
