He disabled his match.com account in front of me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
