i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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