Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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