My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
