He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
