I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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