Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
